Author: bridgethassed
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Woman Worried About Being Murdered But Confident It Would Become A True Crime Podcast
On Friday evening it is being reported that local woman Rebecca Bernard felt unsafe while walking home. She discloses “There were a couple more rowdy drunks out, and one too many cat calls than usual that just caused me to grip my keys a little tighter, and walk a little faster.” Although concerned about whether… Read more
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Kylie Jenner Allegedly Blasting Boss Baby Through Uterine Wall To Ensure Child Is Born With “Entrepreneurial Spirit”
The billionaire makeup, beauty and nepotism guru Kylie Jenner has announced that she is expecting her second child to on-again off-again rapper boyfriend Travis Scott. Sources close to the couple have revealed that everyday up until birth, Ms. Jenner plans to play the movie Boss Baby through the uterine wall to ensure the baby shares… Read more
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Woman Spends So Much Time Manifesting She Forgot To Put In Any Effort
In an unforseen turn of events, local woman and believer Melissa Connors has been left feeling empty handed and ripped off, as she seemingly put all of her energy into wishing and hoping for good things to happen to her. This comes as she has allegedly not put any work or effort required to generates… Read more
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How Your Star Sign Will Deal With The Impending Climate Crisis
ARIES: You fucking psychos won’t even bother waiting to see if there’s any kind of plan B, let alone try to hatch a plan yourself before you start your own personal Purge-esque rampage. Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your exes crazy new girlfriend because you firey bitches have been waiting to let off… Read more
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“We’ve Had Enough!” Meet The Fruit That Are Sick Of Being Used As Metaphors For Vaginas
For as long as there has been women’s based literature, there has always been a secret little section detailing all the ins and outs of vaginal care and sexual satisfaction. These articles, teetering on the edge of the explicit, soon become synonymous with the trademark use of fingering fruits to simulate pleasure and tantalize the… Read more
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How To Be A Good Feminist Even Though You Know Some Women Who Really Suck
With gender equality movements, the acknowledgement of the wage gap, more women in positions of power and women being listened to for the first time in history, it could be said that their has never been an easier time to be a feminist. That being said even after all the progress and advancements feminism has… Read more
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Vegan Woman Turns To Cigarettes As A Plant Based Alternative To Vaping
With more and more young people turning towards sustainability and plant based alternatives for everyday products, a Redfern woman is taking it a step further in an attempt to make her smoking habits more conscionable. “I jumped on the vaping train pretty much as soon as every other bored Inner West living millennial did post… Read more
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Ok Olympian! Woman Takes The Stairs
Reports are flooding in today that a Melbourne woman, after being given the option, decided to take the stairs instead of taking the escalator that sat mere feet away from her. Lazy onlookers being whisked up by the magic flying staircase have been baffled by the move, with some suggesting they wish they “had the… Read more
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Apple Update To Include Function That Deletes Notes App If It Detects Any Iteration Of “I Am Deeply Sorry For My Actions”
On Monday Apple announced that the iOS 15 update will include a new function that will cause the Notes app to self delete if it catches even a whiff of somebody trying to use screenshots from the app to pass off as an actual public apology. The move comes after the tech giant became increasingly… Read more
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Woman Bookmarks Article About Procrastination To Read Later
Local woman Sophie Turnbuckle has been intrigued by an article claiming to bust all your procrastination habits in one week. It has been alleged that she was unable to take the 5-7 minutes to read the article, but will reportedly endeavour to read it at a later, unspecified date. The 30 year old Newcastle woman… Read more