Welcome to “Another Important Piece of Writing” a weekly newsletter/life update/writing exercise/rant/potenially the next most important piece of literature from the 21st century but probably not.
I am SICK again!/still! I got the flu after I kept forgetting to get my flu shot (even though it was FREE!) which then gorgeously transformed into a chest infection. Very caterpillar into a butterfly kinda vibes except more of an old hagrid moth hobbling out of a tattered cocoon, smoking a cigarette and giving you the finger. Go nature you good thing, really taking out the biggest threats from the top down! (i.e. me, a late 20s creative who’s just trying her best).
I’ve never gotten so sick in my entire life since living in Sydney. I moved in late 2020 so I can’t, and won’t ever really be able to pinpoint whether it’s just the state and it’s nasty little ecosystem fucking with my delicate chemistry set of a body, or if this is just the post(ish?) COVID world we are now forced to navigate.
ANYWAYS, I digress.
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I’ve started doing this thing at the start of every month where I blow cinnamon in my door frame for good luck – because quite frankly I’ve tried everything else and this is where I’m at. I’ve tried personal development and working on myself, I’ve gone to therapy, I do regular and gratitude journaling, I frequently mediate and practice yoga, I do inner child work, I eat a vegan and gluten free diet, I don’t drink, I take vitamins everyday, I’ve tried hypnotising myself and manifestation, I’m kind to wait staff and I smile at babies AND YET I still find myself frequently unhappy!
Realistically, what else am I meant to do? At what point do you not just start messing with the occult? Fuck it, what’s the moon doing right now and how can that smug bitch benefit me? What are my chakra’s doing and what will fall out if I open them up? Eventually, once you’ve tried enough things of course the blood of a virgin starts to make a bit of sense. Why not sacrifice a live goat on an open flame during mercury retrograde? I simply won’t know if it’s worth doing until I’ve tried!
There’s always something I’m trying that I think will fix it all. I was recently feeling manic and spent $50 I didn’t have on two crystals. I know deep down these things I do are really just tokenistic for what I want – which is change – but sometimes it does actually make me feel better to look at a Rose Quartz ring and think “I bought this to try and show myself some more love”. Even if it wasn’t the immediate cure all I wanted it to be, it’s nice to be reminded of a time I was trying to do something nice for myself and when I was feeling an ounce of optimism.
I have a good feeling about this cinnamon thing though.
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I get really conflicted when I’m walking home at night because naturally, I’m worried about being murdered; but I know that if I did it would probably be turned into a really good true crime podcast. I don’t wanna brag but I’ve got real “gone too soon” potential; I’ve got a lot of “she had so much potential” potential. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.
I hate true crime. Not to sound like a boomer, but if you want true crime you just need to turn on the news! It’s everywhere! Oh no, but it’s not the kind people like! Because people like it, they have favourite types of murders now!
I used to work in a legal department where we dealt with incredibly sensitive information including but not limited to crimes against children, rape, domestic violence, assault etc. I remember working under a lawyer who, while writing up reports about why people shouldn’t be allowed to work in certain environments due to their records reflecting any of the aforementioned would religiously listened to true crime podcasts. You literally couldn’t be absorbing any more true crime content unless somebody began to commit a murder right infront of you!
How much is too much at that point? Surely once you’ve downloaded a certain number of true crime podcasts or you’ve streamed enough true crime documentaries you should be put on a list. There comes a point when it goes from entertainment to just straight up research…
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It’s Dry July which is essentially when I get to see everybody cosplay as me for a month. Cute!
Dry July in its essence, is great. You’re raising well needed money for cancer research and support services which is inarguably a wonderful thing to do. However, every year I see people who end up barrelling through a month of sobriety with no other outlets to replace drinking, and no wherewithal to realise why that’s a problem.
It’s like when I see people take “tolerance breaks” wherein they realise they’ve been going hard for a few months and feel the need to cool it. It’s as if they have ability to see the problematic nature of what they’re doing, but the mentality behind “I’ll just take a break for a while so I don’t get addicted” or “I’m not going to stop drinking at the amount and pace I normally do, but I will take a break” is in and of itself a problem.
Sweetie, you’re so close to getting to the core of what’s actually going on!
I’d be confident to say that over half of the people I know who drink have a problem with it. Not to throw shade, but it’s true! Realistically if you look at all of the reasons people drink, most of them aren’t actually positive ones. Retrospectively, I realised when I was a piss pot the main reason I was drinking was to change how I felt. At its very essence it was a situation of “I feel bad. Alcohol makes me feel good. Therefore, alcohol”. Not to get on my high horse but here, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the core of why a lot of people drink.
I’m not going to get to the bottom of or solve the institutionalised alcoholism that runs rampant in our fair country in my silly little newsletter (could you imagine how big my head would get if it did!?) but I do think it’s good to reflect on what you’re putting in your body, the reasons why and if it’s actually really worth it.
Personally I think we maybe shouldn’t be putting heaps of something in our bodies that can be used for cleaning, disinfecting and fuelling cars – but that’s just me!
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